Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
