it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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