fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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