..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
