I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
