Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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