To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
