I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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