Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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