I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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