I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize