Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How does one acquire holy water?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
