now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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