I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
