i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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