I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
