Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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