Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
