is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
