I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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