I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i've created a new STD.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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