he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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