then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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