I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
