If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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