I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
