Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
