Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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