If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
