your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
