singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
