Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
