i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
