and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
