I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I wish there were birth control emojis
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
