i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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