my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???