this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.