I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
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Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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