Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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