I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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