It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
