Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
