so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
