im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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