Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize