I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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