DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
