I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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