Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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