so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
