Ambien. No doubt about it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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