we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
