what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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