i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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