The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
