Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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