Can Purell be used as lube?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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