You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
