grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize