White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
