we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
