why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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