Since when is my name a synonym for head?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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