Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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