says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have aggressive nipples.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
